I admit it. I’m obsessed.

Welcome to my wordpress: My Secret O Fan Fiction

I write Southern Vampire Mysteries Fan Fiction featuring Sookie and Eric. They are all rated MA for a mature audience, because they are filled with the lemons that are lacking in the books. So please, save us both some trouble and only enter if you are 18 or older.nsfw-2I don’t write drama or angst, and pain is kept to a minimum. My stories are uncomplicated, sweet, and smoking hot. Don’t expect to find anything else here, because you won’t.

I am lucky enough to have some amazing friends who help me edit: SeriousCrush, Laurie, FairytaleAmber, and Meridian. I’ve been fortunate to brainstorm with some talented women and couldn’t create many of my stories without them! Thanks to SeriousCrush, Padore, FairytaleAmber, Meridian, and GabbieAnnie for the hours you’ve spent helping me craft stories!

Please follow me, and comment … I live for reviews. Well, good ones anyway.

 

Here is a list of my stories with a little description under each, click on the picture and you’ll be taken to the story. After the title, you’ll see a series of letter and words, this is what they mean: MA=Mature Audience, AU=Alternate Universe, E=Eric S=Sookie P=Pam L=Laurie, and finally, I note if they’re Complete or In Progress. 🙂

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Getaway: MA E/S Complete

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La Vie En Rose: MA E/S Complete

Switched: MA AU E/S Complete

 Eric takes Sookie on vacation, and it changes everything. Lots of goodness, some quick, some slow, some taboo. No angst, just love and happy ever after. Set after the 10th book. This is a sequel to my story, Getaway. Baby Vamp Sookie is on an adventure with Eric including sightseeing in Paris. Hot lemons, with a little more power, but just as much love. Above and beyond CH’s canon after 10th book. Near the end of Living Dead in Dallas, but instead of the maenad’s bloody massacre, she finds Sookie and Eric fighting their attraction and gives them a unique kind of madness.
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Take me Now, You Big Viking!: MA E/S Complete

 

Kitchen Table: MA E/S Complete

Hidey Hole: MA E/S Complete

 This is what should’ve happened after Sookie and Eric are attacked by a mysterious Were in chapter 5 of From Dead To Worse. Sookie comes to her senses and helps Eric recover from the gunshot he endured protecting her. She does more than heal him. Ever wonder what happens when Eric is staying with Sookie in Dead to the World at the end of chapter 9? Read on to find out.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I could wait for Eric to get up from his day rest if he were staying in my house. Set during Dead to the World, Sookie gets impatient. Short and sweet.

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Desperation: MA E/S Complete

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A Better New Year: AU MA E/S Complete

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Giving Thanks: MA AU E/S Complete

 What if Sookie made the right decision when finding Eric in her bed the first time in chapter 3 of Club Dead? Well I think it would have been something like this. Anyone else out there wish the first chapter of Dead To The World had gone better? That’s what I thought. Sookie is smart, Eric is lost and alone, and she makes him feel all better. No drama, just bliss. Happy New Year!  After Dead As A Doornail, Sookie is living in her house again and finds herself very lonely on Thanksgiving. Eric helps her find something to feel thankful for. Enjoy!

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Two Blondes in Shreveport: MA E/S Complete

The Pam Factor: MA AU E/S/P Complete

Kitten & Sugar Pie: MA AU P/L Complete

Set after Charlaine Harris’ short story Two Blondes, Sookie and Pam get home from their trip to Mississippi and they show Eric just what he missed during the girls’ vacation.  Ever wonder how things would go between Eric, Sookie and Pam? You’re not the only one.  Set near the end of All Together Dead. Enjoy!  Remember Laurie, Pam’s girlfriend in Getaway? Here’s a little more of just them. Pam has all kinds of fun planned.

The Contest: MA AU E/S Complete

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Confetti: MA AU E/S Complete

The Tilted Kilt: MA AU E/S Complete

 What if Sookie’s first encounter with a vampire was different? Dawn is nice enough to take her to Fangtasia, where Sookie meets a very hot Viking, who invites her to judge a contest. Fluffy, fun and short. Sookie is 18 and decides she needs to spend time with Hadley, which means visiting a goth club in Shreveport. Hadley isn’t great company, but Sookie finds someone who is. Tall, blond, and different…somehow.  Desperate for a new job, Sookie looks for work in Shreveport at the Tilted Kilt. She meets all sorts of interesting people and finds herself exposed to a world she doesn’t know anything about. Luckily, she’s got a very helpful boss to guide her. Raise your hand if you want to see Eric in a kilt! 🙂

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Glamoured: MA AU E/S Complete

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Sookie’s Present: MA AU E/S Complete

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Mr. January: MA E/S Complete

 Sookie actively seeks out her first encounter with a vampire, and she meets a few. One stands out above the rest…  Sookie’s special present has been years in the making, and after falling into the arms of a mysterious man, she’s about to get what she’s been looking for…and much, much more.  Remember the Vampire Hunks calendar Eric put together for Fangtasia? Yeah, me too. What if he delivered the proofs to Sookie? I bet something like this would’ve happened.

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Stay: MA AU E/S Complete

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Third Time’s The Charm: MA AU E/S Complete

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Worth It: MA AU E/S Complete

Still in shock from the bombing in Dallas, she finds solace in an unlikely place, and while she’s recovering, she finds something much better. What if Sookie came to her senses during the Rhodes convention? One moment of clarity could change the entire course of history, but is she smart enough to see the truth? When it comes to Sookie, Eric can’t think straight. But when his very existence is threatened, he must decide if she really is worth it.

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The After Party: MA AU E/S Complete

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Up All Night: MA AU E/S Complete

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Fangbangers Anonymous: MA AU E/S Complete

Taking Eric’s blood to heal from Sookie’s stake wound means more than either of them know, and now, all her fantasies about Eric are about to come true. As the newest member of the Sunny Maid team, Sookie not only makes new friends, but also meets someone she can’t resist: Eric. As they fall in love, they discover they share a past neither knew of. A past that draws them closer and could change the supernatural world. Sookie just stumbled upon the world of FanFiction  finding herself in a starring role … with Eric. Certain that he’s sharing her secrets with the world, she confronts him and is faced with an unexpected outcome.

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Detox: MA AU E/S Complete

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It Happened In Rhodes: MA, AU, E/S Complete

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Relapse: MA AU E/S Complete

Sookie’s being held captive in a dilapidated and isolated  house with only Eric to keep her company. They must learn how to get along and trust each other so they can make the most of their bleak situation. Sookie & Hadley start their adult lives together in New Orleans. Sookie takes a job she loves and learns how to be comfortable in her own skin. While she’s in Rhodes for a work Summit, she decides to have a little fun with Eric. But fun turns into something much deeper when she develops feelings for him. After detoxing at the cabin, Sookie finds herself in unfamiliar territory. She must decide what she wants in life and what she plans to do about Bill’s betrayal. One giant leap of faith will lead her down a path she never dreamed she’d travel, but she can’t do it alone. Sequel to Detox.

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Petulance: MA, AU, E/S, Complete

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She Courts Calamities: MA, AU, E/S Complete

Sookie agrees to help Eric find the thief stealing from him, but she has no idea what she is getting herself into. Rejected by her latest lover Sookie hits rock bottom and decides her life isn’t worth living. She finds solace and kindness in the most unlikely place: a big bad vampire who proves her wrong.

 

What are all those ^^^ empty lines for? All the stories I’m going to post, just as soon as they come out of my brain. Follow me and you’ll be the first to know what’s new.

Do you like reading sweet, hot, and angst-free romance erotica like this? You’re in luck! I’ve written a few books. Visit my September Roberts blog to find out more!

Are you interested in finding more great TB/SVM stories without all the annoying censorship that you’ll find over at FF.net? This is for you! FangbangersAnonymous.wordpress.com: The TB/SVM Writers Directory : Fangfuckingtastic FanFiction

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255 thoughts on “I admit it. I’m obsessed.

  1. VintageManniqueen says:

    Hey girl, hey. I’m diggin’ the new pad. I might have to get me one of these fancy things.

    Like

  2. Annie says:

    Hey! Happy to see you got it all set up 🙂 just added you to my subscriptions. You did really well. Not overly busy, and tastefully put together. 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks Annie, for showering me with love and compliments. I’m still working on getting the blog all set up, but I’m so happy that you think it’s great. Thanks for signing up for subscriptions too, nice to have a follower. 🙂

      Like

  3. Elphaba17 says:

    Love it! Love it! Love it!! I think this will be amazing for your writing!! This is going to change everything!!

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    • Oh, you flatter me, really…I’m so glad you love it!! (three times even!) I’m not sure what it’s going to change, but at least I won’t have to worry about moral police here. 🙂

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      • Elphaba17 says:

        No more moral police!! Freedom!! Freedom!!! (Suddenly I feel like William Wallace and feel the need to rebel…yep…this train of thought really leads me to the image of Eric in a kilt…and Eric as a Viking…but mainly the kilt…yum…only a gracious plenty under there…)

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      • I agree about the Viking in a kilt. Maybe I need to write a new story. 🙂 I could call it Easy Access. LOL

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      • Elphaba17 says:

        *Gasp!!!* That would be lovely!! Scottish Highlander/Viking!! (Which would be kind of funny since historically Highlanders and Vikings were enemies…) But the idea of Eric with a brogue, a kilt, a broadsword (which he already has!), a castle and a war cry that shakes the very highlands themselves…och…I’d like to see any Sookie resist that…

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      • I don’t know that she could resist!! 🙂 I love the way your brain works. 🙂

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      • Elphaba17 says:

        I’m the type of evil genius that no one suspects. 😉

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      • that’s the best kind of evil genius!

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  4. Laila says:

    Wow this is seriously cool and I get now why you “moved” from fanfiction. Huh there are a lot of stories I haven’t read of yours for some reason, I’ll get to it well not right away but eventually! I’ve learned something new about you today youre a vegetarian, which is weird since you love plants but whateves (in my mind I somehow got that oh that makes sense you’re a vegetarian since you’re a botanist but then I remembered shouldn’t that mean the opposite ;] ). Anyways weird rambling aside I’m gonna see how I can follow you (in a non-stalkerish way), but until then we still have our PMs! Later ~ Laila :k

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    • Laila, you can always stalk me. Really, I can’t get weird ramblings anywhere else. 🙂 Yeah, when I was moving stuff over here I realized how many stories I have, and how much time I have dedicated to writing this smut. I’m just glad someone besides me can appreciate that! 🙂

      I’m still laughing about how botanists shouldn’t be vegetarians…funny. You should think of me more in the lines of a chemist/botanist, if that helps. Not sure it does. 🙂 Thanks for following me over. 🙂

      Like

  5. kathy79 says:

    So glad I found you, life would be awfully boring without your “special” creative genius 😉 The site is lovely, much prettier than FF. Well, I’m ready to read whenever you’re ready to write! Oh, and I am definitely in favor of a kilted Eric!! Kathy

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    • EEE! Kathy! You found me! I am SO excited to have you with me here. 🙂 Thanks for the love for my blog, I’ve been working on it for days…and I’ll have to start thinking about a kilted Eric story. Maybe Sookie and Eric will have to take a trip to Scotland? Hmm, so much to think about. 🙂

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      • Elphaba17 says:

        People are in favor of a kilted Eric!! No one can resist him in a kilt!!

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      • I’m with you…maybe our favorite couple need to go on vacation again. 🙂

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      • Annie says:

        All this talk of Eric in a kilt makes me think of the two or so chapters in “Infinite” by EricIzMine where Eric and Alcide take Sookie and Pam to “The Highland Games” They wear kilts 😉 the scenes are quite memorable. The image will never fade. Nor do I want it too. Yum!!! Easy Access indeed!

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      • A kilted story is still brewing. I actually ‘wrote’ the first paragraph in my mind last night while I was falling asleep. Damn my sleepy brain not saving the file like a good laptop would have! I couldn’t get out of bed though…so I’ll have to rewrite it for sure! 🙂

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  6. Hyzenthlay09 says:

    Thank goodness your over here lol lol …..I just hope FF get its shits together so so many amazing writers on there !

    Like

  7. Raeleen says:

    Thanks for letting me know where you were going to make your blog!! This is a great choice for a site, I can sign up easily and NOT MISS ANYTHING you write… I would have cried if you left me with nowhere to find you LOL…
    Raeleen

    Like

  8. Monica says:

    I’m glad you got a blog to write your brilliant stories. I really loved it…just added you to my subscriptions.

    Like

  9. ilovevikings says:

    Woo-Hoo I found you, YAY~ I love your Blog, and Im so excited that you will be able to show pictures!

    Like

  10. Andi says:

    I love your writing. Can’t edit to read more. 🙂

    Like

  11. Loftin says:

    You all are too funny. Eric + kilt+ GP= yumminess. I need it! Lol!
    Hey woman, thanks for sending that note along about where to find you. I would have stalked and maybe hired a P I to find ya. I’m loving what you’ve done to the place.

    Like

  12. Loftin says:

    I’m a little slow right now, I fully admit it so pls help me. Lol
    I can’t seem to find your follow button or figure out how to add you to my subscriptions page. I know I know, I said I was a bit slow tonight….Im blaming the heat. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 😉

    Like

    • There should be a follow sign button on the gray bar across the top of the page…at least I hope you can see it too. It would be lame if only I could see it! It’s definitely the heat…yep. The heat is cooking your brain.

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  13. Loftin says:

    yup, it was my blasted ipad. I’m in I’m…let the fun begin..again. 🙂

    Like

  14. kalibean says:

    I followed you as well…I’ve been here before to read stories, but only you inspired me to actually sign up for an account. See? Told you that you were awesome. “Getaway” is one do my very, very favorites and I love your other stuff too. Now to track down other authors. I do like the favorite stories/favorite authors function on FF; it’s generally how I find all the good stuff!

    Like

    • Wow, I’m flattered…and have a big head now. Thanks! 🙂 Thanks for following me here, I know it sucks a little since everything on FF is so connected. That’s why I don’t want to lose my account. I can’t live without it! 🙂

      Like

  15. whew hot blooded says:

    glad to know you are here. i would hate to lose access to your stories.

    Like

  16. whew hot blooded says:

    oookay, i am back home again after helping a neighborhood family in need. glad that i am doing the world some good, including you too *viking smirks and brow raise*

    keep on writing, each word brings me closer to …*insert nine inch nails tune of your choice here*

    seriously, looking forward to next update, whenever you post.

    Like

    • I am so sorry to keep you waiting, every day pains me! Especially knowing that you are such a good samaritan and deserve generous rewards (a gracious plenty?). Thanks for the NIN reference. Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head…again. 🙂

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      • whew hot blooded says:

        noooo… do not suffer as i mean absolutely no pressure at all. yeah, i am pretty good sam’n about now ;p without doubt, i will accept donations of gracious plenty…over and over again *looks around excitedly for GP to %^& me like an…and feel me from the….*

        v-v *snickety snick* v-v V-V v-v *snickersnorts* v-v

        ah NIN, it is like a broken record, is it not? i hope that it is not distracting you from writing at this point…i could not help myself from sharing with you. i have to offer something in return for your free stories. butter just did not seem like enough *wheezes and collapses in hysterics*

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      • No, you’re not a distraction…packing to go to my sister’s wedding in Chicago, now THAT is a distraction. I am really hoping to get some writing done tomorrow so that I can post a new chapter of Switched before I go. I’m not sure when E/S will finally get around to having a really good time…but it will happen. Oh yes, it will happen. 🙂

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  17. whew hot blooded says:

    congrats on your sister’s wedding and have a safe trip. e/s will get around to it when they get around to it. seems they like being switched for now…cannot blame a girl for not wanting her monthly visitor! i would trade for a GP any day ;-p

    Like

  18. whew hot blooded says:

    hot patootie, bless my soul! i am so excited and i figured that might be acoming *!* but i was trying not to spoil the rod, spare the *shakes head in confusion* i mean ruin the surprise…*aghem…fake coughs*

    Like

  19. whew hot blooded hot patootie says:

    just to be safe you might want to post right now *nods affirmatively*

    and yup, HP and BMS…i really love a GP post *rocking out to self at this point…self stim’n you might say!*

    Like

    • Just to be safe from what…you? Uh oh…I didn’t anger you, did I? 😀 If it makes you feel any better, I’ll post here before I post on FF. 🙂

      Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        no worries, you are quite safe from moi, and i am not angry at all *bares teeth without any snicks and smiles*

        since the surprise might be ruined a bit for tomorrow, i thought that if you posted today, then tomorrow’s surprise would NOT be ruined at all…*nods thinking makes perfect sense* so just to be on the safe side is what i meant to say about it all….

        i think i am having GP withdrawal and losing best way to express self. oh my, i have given myself the vapors *fans self in distress and looks for rhett to rescue me*

        Like

      • Sounds like you need a fainting couch. Always helps me when I get the vapors. 🙂 I just got the all clear from my editor, so I’ll be posting pronto. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        don’t make me send the berry snakes to keep you on task with writing ;( massive nudge bordering on shove about to happen.

        seriously, take your time, you just got home from a trip, and need to chill a bit. i will keep checking back to see if anything new appears. one day, it will 😉

        Like

      • Wow…and I thought I was obsessive! 🙂 I just wrote 1,000 words tonight. So maybe I’ll get it done sooner than you think! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        yippee ti yi yo! hey, you said i was crazy and all so it makes sense to add obsessive to list. nice to read you got some writing done, hope you are resting up and taking break from travels too. enjoying utah and all 🙂

        you did mention that you were bursting to write and it must be so if you were that productive. impressive, and then some 🙂

        this comment is out of order and scanning all these is crazy-making; now i have to figure out where the other comment ended up. is there a better way to figure it out and i am just fail 😉 (notice use of fail here!)

        Like

      • The posts aren’t coming out of order for me…so no worries! I was planning on writing today, but it hasn’t happened yet. I was very good though and did dishes and 5 loads of laundry so far, including all the clothes I unpacked from our luggage. 🙂 Ah the joys of traveling. I don’t know how my house managed to get dirty while I was gone. I doubt one little cat could make that much of a mess! 🙂 So I vacuumed and swept too. Oh, and I cleaned the bathroom. Staying in a hotel really puts me to shame, what with the sparkling clean faucets and stuff. So now, I’ve got my very own clean house and NOW I’m ready to write more. Phew!

        Like

  20. whew hot blooded says:

    yes’m hitting the floor is getting rougher as the years pass. drama be damned since i am covered in unnecessary bruises XD

    ohh looking forward to reading new post.

    Like

    • I hope you enjoyed reading the new chapter…I hope you’ll let me know if you don’t. I would do anything to make you happy. 🙂

      Like

      • whew hot blooded with cake cravings says:

        that is quite the open-ended promise, milady…but never fear as i would never take advantage of you as eric might 🙂

        i did enjoy the update and shared down there, er… over there, under there, somewhere closer to the post?! glad you checked in and hope you are taking time to vacay with the hubs since you have this opportunity to be all romantic and think about marriage and lovvveey dovey stuff. then be glad you are not doing it all over again! eat some cake for me *nom nom with icing and fondant drools*

        Like

      • Wedding cake is really the reason to go to weddings isn’t it? Mm…cake. I’ll be sure to eat a piece for you. Whatever you say, just so long as I get to try both kinds. 🙂 There’s also a dessert bar and an open bar with ‘premium’ liquor. Fancy pants! Tonight we rehearse, tomorrow, we do the real thing. yippee!

        Thanks for not taking advantage of me, you are such a fine upstanding citizen. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        like eric, i will never take advantage, but i might call in a favor…like eating double cake, a bit of dessert bar, and having some premium beverages too. rehearsal should be good times, and tomorrow even better. glad it all seems celebration worthy. sending bit of v for your potential tummyache ;-p

        Like

      • I do love me some wedding cake! There was a chocolate fountain with these brownie bites and pecan pie pieces. Oh man it was good! There was enough for like 100 more people, so it really is a shame you weren’t there with us. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and dessert deprived says:

        awww, i appreciate your desire to share the sweets with me…cuz there was enough for hundreds *giggles*. i have not heard of the pecan pie bites so that is something new that i will not be able to try *wails in deprivation of desserts*

        sounds like you are enjoying, and that makes me deliriously happy. plus, it is calorie-free…so win win, right?!

        looking forward to your return to the mundane so you can work on some GP tastiness again. take your time, it builds the anticipation 🙂

        Like

      • Are you telling me that GP tastiness is worth the wait? LOL I like the idea of that, but the story has been building without any outlet, and I am afraid my brain may explode if I don’t get to sit down and get it out. There are a couple of others that are coming too…maybe they’ll just be little one shots, but they’re definitely inspired by my trip to Chicago.

        The pecan pie things were seriously delicious! Oh, and did I mention there were triple chocolate brownies too? AND a chocolate fountain? Oh man, I had to get away from that table!

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and deprived of chocolate covered viking says:

        oh yeah baby…keep talking desserts to moi! *feels self getting the vapors again* now, if you write about GP tastiness combined with a chocolate fountain dessert smorgasbord *kaboom* there will be explosions of the naughty variety beyond clean up on aisle 69 😉 maybe you can let sookie have some chocolate body butter to use on the viking since the combo of cool and chocolatey are really meant for summer (and fall and winter and spring). mmmhh, edible chocolate covered viking vampires *collapses dramatically onto fainting couch*

        i do look forward to your updates and one shots soon. i do not do well when deprived for too long even though i do have amazing willpower and self control in some areas. GP tastiness + dessert + update deprivation = possible inappropriate yelling STFU at noisy children in hotels xD

        Like

      • Wow…I had no idea that that specific combination would be enough to make you combust. I may need to update just to make sure you are safe! I worry about you…

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        while there may be many reasons to worry about me, chocolate-covered vikings and spontaneous combustion are likely not on the list! too damn bad though…about the viking that is 😉

        looking forward to your pending release, urhm update, upon your safe return home. do long flights = mile high club one shots?

        Like

      • Long flights that late at night, not so much…but chocolate covered Vikings were on my mind the whole way. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        chocolate covered vikings seem delectable to me too. late night long flights, even with mile highness, not so much. cannot wait to see what you create from your recent adventures. get some rest. happy fourth.

        Like

      • There’s a bar/grill in Illinois called the Tilted Kilt, which gave me a great idea for a story to get Eric into a kilt. All kinds of stories are brewing…now to sit down and sort them out. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and tartan seeking says:

        mhh i think i have been to a tilted kilt year ago or more. we were with family friend who is in her 80s and not amused at the girls in “hooter suits”. too funny that you mention it. still laugh about it today. i did ask them why the boys were not wearing them if girls had to when there to make her giggle.

        if you send eric to scotland, or some other period of history, or make it worth his while to be kilted up, then you got my vote. if you make him owner of a tilted kilt, i will holla FAIL to you xD i have some friends who bought kilts while in canada and the father/son wear them all the time, much to the shock of others. not sure why as it is not diff than shorts really. i did however request that the teen son NOT be freeballing in my presence (never was but could not bear the bare). we are all fairly loose with boundaries but that would scar me for life i fear 😉

        ah kilts and my bit of exposure to em. makes me want to take a journey to scotland and ireland and visit some kilt-wearing, chocolate-covered highland gamers *officially insane in the membrane*

        Like

      • You need to clarify…if I make Eric the owner of a Tilted Kilt, you will enjoy? Yes no? I’m not sure what ‘holla fail to you’ means. I’m lame I guess…so please help me out. 🙂

        I love your story about the father/son kilt wearers. I might be scarred by a bare kid too, so it’s good to set boundaries, right? 🙂 I need to write, it’s killing me…

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      • whew hot blooded says:

        WRITE WRITE WRITE! it is never my place to tell you what to write, this is your blog and these are your stories to write your way. you can make eric any way you wish. tilted kilt is not worse than hooters or merlottes or fangtasia IMHO. eric is a bar owner and this falls in line with realm of possibility for him.

        go for it and do what you do. you have not failed yet 😉 i will be more careful in my choice of silly terms and words next time *tsk tsk noted*

        some kilt wearers do require boundaries depending upon where you are and who is wearing them 🙂 looking forward to new stories soon.

        Like

      • Please feel free to use as many silly terms as you wish, I just wanted to understand what you meant by it. I blame sleep-deprevation. Yep, that’s what it is! LOL

        Ok, ok, I’ll go write. So lovely to get encouragement and love from you though, so thanks for pushing me along!

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      • whew hot blooded and losing it rapidly says:

        oops a daisy, i posted out of order (it is somewhere up there). i am confused apparently. it might be due to lack of new posts. *giggles uncontrollably*

        Like

      • I’m not sure a lack of new posts is enough to make you giggle uncontrollably. I think you might have gotten into some special sauce earlier, and are giddy at the thought of making friends with a perv in Utah. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and making friends with a pervtootie in utah says:

        lack of posts = cognitive decline, and confusion about comment posting. it is not funny at all 😉 i promise there was no special sauce, just special banter.

        it is so madam, i am simple enough to become giddy over befriending your pervy-thinking berry-picking quick-witted dessert-gobbling viking-loving nookie-writing self in utah. life is good. now you are cracking me up and i guess it is better than self- induced methods 😉

        [g]p.s. (just seems wrong to ps without the gp now!) as a writer, i expect you to come up with better term for yourself than perv ;). i confess that i am still laughing loudly. i prefer tilted kilt. NO, no, i do not at all. we will have to work on a new catch phrase for you xD keep me posted on your ideas as i never thought of you as a perv before.

        Like

      • You never thought of me as a perv before? Why not? I know you’ve read most of my stories…and they are all filled with loads of sex. Who writes that kind of stuff, if not a perv? 🙂 So there you have it. I’m a perv. I can’t think of anything better to call myself. Secret Perv maybe, since no one here knows that I write, and if they do, they don’t know WHAT I write. Best to keep those things to myself. 🙂

        You were totally cracking me up with the hugely long title you gave me. 🙂 It’s good to know my talent is appreciated somewhere out there. 🙂 I’ll try to post soon so your brain works better. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and secretly posting a comment says:

        oh my! it is a secret…shhh, i did not know this but do appreciate the writing. still not thinking pervtootie at all. i do have better understanding why you may think so though i never thought writing about sex= perv 😉 what am i for reading your stories then?

        that is great that you cleaned house and then some. nope, you cannot blame the cat for the mess. ‘purr’fect excuse but not valid one 😉 i wish my home was in such good order. i have it torn up for donations and to clear out things. hate the disarray but no other way to really get it done. if only i had a cat to take some of the responsibility off my shoulders *cracking self up again*

        i am writing here to cover both responses since it is out of order for me and i cannot take more confusion at this point 😉 i look forward to reading your updates whenever they occur, and am happy you are back to secret story writing again. this comment will self-destruct in 5 minutes..shhh, your secret is safe with me XD

        Like

      • Of course it’s a secret! Do you think I can honestly go next door to my mormon neighbors and say, “By the way, I write vampire erotica! Hide your children! Lock your doors! A perv lives amongst you!” See? I know when to keep my mouth shut. It just so happens that YOU are also a perv, since you read and enjoy my smut so very much. Nothing wrong with that. I’m not meaning perv in a negative way. I own it, baby!

        Usually it’s my dogs that cause the biggest dust bunnies, but they weren’t inside much while we were gone, but the cat had the whole house to himself. I still think it was him… You also need to understand that my house is not really in order. Just a couple of rooms. There’s still a lot of cleaning/organizing that needs to happen. Ugh, I can’t think about it. Speaking of cleaning, more laundry is waiting for me. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and labeled perv by another perv says:

        ohhkay. i just went round the hood to my neighbors and said, “i read smut and therefore, i am a perv”, and my neighbors (not mormon but christian/ catholic and largely over 70) did not care a tidbit 🙂 in fact, they requested your blog deets XD

        everyone is not mormon in utah, right?! however, i do understand what you mean, but it really is no diff than having any type of private activity that you would not announce in public to just anyone- IMHO. i do not say hello to my neighbors and then share i had an orgasm, shaved my bits, or read erotica involving blood exchanges. now i am cracking self up again since i can imagine they might say, “come again” to repeat myself and i would lose it entirely. elder neighborhoods rock in a cool and calm, humor and wisdom-filled way.

        yeah, housework sucks more than vampires. i do think that pets should do their share to deal with their hair that is everywhere (oh my! dr suess style rhyming here 🙂 ). in their defense, you cannot keep blaming them for lack of upkeep *giggles hysterically* i do not mind laundry so much as dealing with it after. just did the dishes. meh. wish i had bewitched nose-twitch powers to finish off the chores.

        no matter what the neighbors might say, i enjoy your pervitude 😉

        Like

      • Well thank goodness you appreciate my pervitude! I certainly do not make announcements about what I write (or that I write at all). I learned the hard way. I told my friend (whom I’ve known since I was 14!) and her husband. He laughed in my face and she said “Eww, I feel dirty.” Seriously. So now, I just keep my mouth shut. Lady porn isn’t for everyone. 🙂 Utah is predominantly mormon, varies by city but ranges between 60-80%. I have always been an outsider here, so I’m used to being careful and not saying too much.

        That is crazy about your neighbors wanting to know more about the dirty blogs you read…you must live in a liberal area. Definitely not where I live!

        I think I should definitely blame the dogs and cat for making messes they don’t clean up. I have to steam the floors on a regular basis to wipe up the biofilm drool one of my dog leaves slug-trails of all over the place. Ew. Lazy dog, drooling everywhere and not cleaning up after herself! 🙂

        I agree about laundry, it is heinous to think that I have to go and FOLD everything that I’m still in the process of washing! Ugh. Now, it is time for me to go make dinner. I’m cooking outside tonight, too damn hot to cook inside. 🙂

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      • whew hot blooded and loving your lady porn says:

        you are cracking me up with daily life chores stuff. it really does suck, and it never ends. i hate that i always feel like never caught up and half the time do what i can and then go live life and give a shite about the rest of it. dog slobber sluggies are the worst, and you should train her to use a wipey! 🙂

        i only told specific ladies who i already talk “shop” with and they probably will not even know what to do with selves. racy talk versus racy reads are two diff things to them. they do not necessarily like to watch scenes in movies either. always interesting to talk about changes in world, morality and personal preference. i did not go tell the gentlemen as i do not want to appear provocative or inappropriate 😉 like you, i do have a filter in the real world *giggles*

        that is upsetting about your friend. i have some friends who i can dish it raw with, and others who i know it would not be a good fit. it is rarer than i thought apparently to have peeps that you can share it all with, and i am truly glad that i have some of them in my life. you have my support and i bet your friend and her spouse could benefit from more exposure to your pervtootie self. vampires and supernatural stuff not for many, but sex (whether having it or not) is usually up for grabs (heh).

        get back to the drool collection lady! yeah, i have to kitchen up too, and make some dinner. hungry for food and more updates from you too 🙂

        Like

      • I think everyone could benefit from reading or writing smut…I know I do. It’s just a shame that I can’t share my secret love of writing it with everyone (even friends that I THOUGHT would be alright with it, honestly!). They’re missing out on a huge part of my life for sure.

        Good news, I think I just finished the next chapter of Switched, and now I wait to see what my editor says. She always keeps me on track…except when she’s too busy with RL to do so, which I TOTALLY understand. 🙂 I spent the better part of today cleaning and then making jam (remember the raspberries?). Yep. Now my freezer is packed to the brim. Now if I could justify turning my oven on, I’d make some bread to eat with the jam…but it’s too damn hot!

        I love that you filter yourself in RL too. Don’t we all? Maybe some more than others. 🙂 I have to be on top of it at all times, otherwise pervy things slip out and people look at me funny. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        i consistently filter around children and certain types of people but most of my true friends are like myself, and we only use the filter as needed. it is nice to have this outlet and to be able to be your true self, not just for smut but for all the areas it allows you to disclose and learn about from another’s pov. i am different in many ways than some of my closer friends (male and female) so their input and perspective is always welcome, even if we agree to disagree.

        i will say that those who are often viewed as so proper are more passionate and erotic than most would suspect or know. they blame me, the perv! as you call it, for bringing that out in them and i call false about that 🙂 i am just someone they trust enough to be comfortable and willing to talk about “such things” with IMHO. life is always interesting, for this short ride it seems we should be able to find some to share our innermost thoughts and feelings with at some point. i hope that you have someone like this for yourself. i am fortunate in this area.

        what is your raspberry jam recipe? share if you want or not. yeah, fresh bread is wonderful but it is too hot for it. hit up a nearby bakery you like maybe? use someone else’s home *giggles* it would be great to nibble while reading reviews after you post the new chapter soon 🙂 looking forward to it.

        Like

      • My filter is definitely in place for kids. 🙂 Don’t want to scar anyone…I do feel comfortable talking openly with most of my friends. It’s amazing how strong the subculture is in Utah. Makes me feel more liberal than I am! 🙂

        I think that’s where I fit…in the proper category. The few friends I have told that I write all assume that I am writing children’s books. It cracks me up. If they only knew the inner workings of my mind. Whoa. I have always been the person that people can talk about their personal lives with too. Maybe we’re just good listeners. 🙂

        I use Pomona pectin for jam/jelly because it will jell low sugar recipes. 4 C mashed raspberries, 1 C. sugar, 1/4 C. fresh lemon juice: blend with a stick blender. 3/4 C. boiling water 1 Tbsp P pectin whisk for 1-2 min or until dissolved and thick. Add pectin to berries, stir well then add 5 tsp. calcium water (you get a calcium pouch with the pectin, which activates the pectin, just like in plant cell walls). Pour into clean jars, leaving 1/2 inch head room. Freeze.

        You don’t HAVE to use that brand of pectin, but it’s what I use, because it’s not adulterated with other ingredients. It’s just pectin and calcium. I make a LOT of jam/jelly, and have loads of recipes. I’ll be making apricot next…

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        children’s stories? well, i am a child at heart if that qualifies you 🙂 yeah, we are probably good listeners; in addition, i know that i am a good talker too *giggles* i am talented in more ways than one! i already know you are able to use filters well- otherwise you could never be confused as a children’s author by others. whoa, indeed!

        are you trying to tell me that you are a proper pervtootie now?! not sure if this is oxymoronic or not but it sounds like a good title for a one shot 🙂 perhaps you are more immersed in subculture than you knew. no doubt my thoughts are much more risque than my actions. suits me just fine and i prefer to keep it simple not stupid 🙂

        thanks for jam recipe. i have never made it before, and i love apricot. just got some to ripen at the farmer’s market. i am glad for low sugar recipe since fruit is plenty sweet already and i prefer the least amount of ingredients especially sugars. best to keep food as real as possible IMHO. regarding the pectin activation, plant cell walls seriously rock 🙂 if i ever get my jam on, i will let you know how it panned out (gah! too much pun).

        Like

      • Yes, I have everyone here fooled…or I’m really just a domestic goddess that happens to have a very dirty mind. 🙂 I think our minds are much more perverse than our actions as a general rule…until we meet the right people who let us know it’s alright to think those things, which gives us permission to try them out! 🙂 Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything…

        You are full of puns, and if you need any help jamming you just let me know. I make apricot jam every year, but that one I cook and preserve with a water bath. It’s a huge investment to get started making your own stuff, but once you have all the supplies on hand (like I do), you can go to town and make hundreds of jars every year (like I do). Yes. I have a problem. Yes. I really do need that much jam. 🙂

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      • whew hot blooded says:

        no worries, i am not about to start a save the fruit campaign against you. someone else might sue you for jamages! however 😉 urhm, the apricot sounds way too tricky for me to try out. do you keep it all for you or share or sell it? jam-covered vikings hidden away? now that might be a good one shot to eat…i mean read 😉

        silence of the jams….it puts the jam upon its skin…AND now i am stopping i promise 😉

        Like

      • There is something wrong with you. Really. The puns…I want to say they’re awesome, but I’m not sure. I used to work with a Canadian, and he was the punniest person I have ever met. Does that mean you’re Canadian too? I miss him…that’s what I get for quitting my job! 🙂

        Apricot isn’t tricky, I’m sure you could do freezer jam, and it would be awesome. You can get pomona pectin from health food stores. Yep, I’m a hippy. Now you know the awful truth! 🙂 Hey, I posted a spoiler for the next chapter…still working on a couple of parts I don’t want to screw up, so I had to post a little until I figure out the rest. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        s’okay (pats on the back) you do not have to like the puns. i will not judge you or be offended. your diagnosis is accurate; there is definitely something wrong with me. i concur about that 🙂 sadly, i cannot replace your canadian or try to fake it for you with bad accent (kidding).

        you did not disclose an awful truth since i frequent health food stores and am probably more hippie than not as well. nothing wrong with that, right? it is much simpler to me and preferable in some ways to current lifestyles. for me, it is easier to reduce the complexities of modern life and maintain some balance.

        the jam making does sound a bit complex since i would have to buy all the stuff and do not use much jam for the most part. my friend’s hubby would love it as he eats it daily so i was going to pass your recipes on to her (they are vegan). she will share with me if makes it 🙂

        just got back home and will look for the posts. so exciting 😉

        Like

      • Please share recipes! There’s nothing better than getting to benefit from your friend’s bounty of jam and preserved goods. 🙂 I’ve got tons of awesome vegan recipes (I’m vegetarian, but we don’t eat much dairy). Health food stores are fun places to shop…if you can get over the odd smell of supplements.

        Damn, if you’re not going to be my new Canadian friend, how am I supposed to trust that your puns are unique to you? I just didn’t think anyone else had it in them. Honestly, when he spoke in public, his speeches were so filled with puns that the audience would let out collective groans. It was awesome! Not to mention he wore suits and ties straight out of the 70s. Oh I miss him. 🙂 I actually wrote him into my book…couldn’t help myself…even though I didn’t ask him if I could. What would I say? “Hey, you know how we worked together for 8 years and I adore you? Well, I want to write you into a vampire erotica novel as a museum director! How about it?” He might be game, but there would be a LOT of questions afterwards. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        which health food stores are you shopping? mine do not smell any worse than any other store, thank goodness 😉 i do find it fun to shop them but the prices have gone sky high at most. most of my vegetarian and vegan friends do dairy; during years when i was i did too. it is impressive that you largely do not, and i envy you this ability. i loves me some cheese and there really is no substitute for this. you might just be more hippie than i if you can pull it off and now i fully understand the jam! *giggles*

        what is your favorite type of meal? this way i can brainstorm potential recipes with my friends. we eat a lot of beans (favs are lentils, black beans, and garbanzos) and try to ingest more real food instead of processed. however, unlike you i do not cook or bake everything from scratch. i am just not that talented or able on a daily basis. do you have any special tricks to share to make it easier?

        yeah, i do not speak in puns so much as post them, unless we are making jokes about something and trying to use them instead of our potty mouths 😉 your canadian friend sounds wonderful, and i can see why you miss him. no, i could never replace him as all my clothes from the 70s are long gone! i am certain that there have been groans when i speak ove the years (nothing to do with puns though) 😉

        thanks for the update. it was a dairy-free, calorie-free treat made just for me *collective groannns*

        Like

      • You are killing me…my update was dairy-free and calorie-free for sure! 🙂 Hey, even if you can’t replace my punny Canadian friend, you can still make me groan like he can, which is just as good. 🙂 Bad clothes or not!

        I cook a lot of meals with tofu, one of them is a Moroccan cous cous dish with garbonzo beans, tofu, and caramelized onions with cinnamon and turmeric topped with broccoli, served over a bed of fruit infused cous cous. It’s so good. Serve with peanuts and sunflower seeds and you have a complete meal packed with protein and veg. 🙂 I love Indian food too, and make it frequently.

        The health food store near me is called Good Earth, and it smells like supplements. Really strong. Mmm, B vitamins! Whole Foods isn’t so bad, but I think they have better ventilation! 🙂 We do a lot of dairy free because my son is lactose intolerant, so it’s just easier. I love eggs though, and have an egg lady at a farm a mile away where we get super fresh eggs all year round. It’s awesome!! My weakness is chocolate chocolate chip ice cream. Haven’t found anything vegan that comes close to real ice cream (although coconut is pretty damn good!), so when I have treats, that’s what I reach for. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        those meals sound delicious and very healthy; however, you eat spicy compared to me. my peeps would gobble up your cooking and then make fun of me for getting rashes from too spicy foods. i am just sensitive that way- so much so that the food made for me is kept to the side and plain. i love cinnamon, five spice, cardamom and use them even when i brew my coffee. which fruit do you use to infuse the cous cous?

        like your son, i cannot tolerate dairy well but do have a bit most days. i also love eggs and my friend used to keep chickens so i was eating them much more than i do now. love nuts and seeds too; it is a great way to add flavor and nutrients as you noted. popcorn is scrumptious fav for us. i like almond and coconut milk blends they have now, and some of the frozen coconut stuff is tasty too. i scream for ice cream too; froyo and fruit smoothies satisfy my cold cravings instead to avoid dairy overdose (could not find the chocolate-covered vikings at whole foods or ikea cafe) 😥

        honored to keep you groaning since your canadian buddy can no longer take care of this for you 😉 while my clothes may not be from the seventies, i never claimed to be fashionable at all, so perhaps i can fill this void a bit too (puts on tie dye dress just for you). still not canadian though. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad…

        now i have to figure out if i can make cous cous your way tonight. got to get my kitchen on soon.

        Like

      • I use dried cherries, blueberries, cranberries and rasins in my cous cous (and dried apricots if I don’t have them fresh…which I do right now). It is so yummy. 🙂 I can totally cut and paste the recipe here if you want…that will definitely get some attention. People will say, “Smut AND recipes? Awesome!”

        I’m not a spicy girl either, despite my husband begging for habanero in everything. I tend to leave out the heat and go easy on curry, mellowing the flavor with a bit of sweet instead. I like palm sugar and tamarind powder in my massaman curry. Mm mm good. I also love coconut milk and everything made with it. Frozen yogurt is tasty, but doesn’t really hit that spot, you know? I also have a weakness for popcorn, and make it several times a week. I must admit also that I love when it’s burned…just a tiny bit. Weird, I know. It’s a throwback to my dad who used to kettle cook popcorn and always burned it on purpose. 🙂

        Thanks for filling the oddly-dressed punny spot in my life. You’re just too good to me. 🙂 And now I must go jump some bones. My husband’s to be exact. Watch out…

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        ahhhhhhhhhhhh my eyes, i will NOT watch…go jump gurllllllllllllll. give it all of your pervtootie self without the proper. research for your stories 🙂

        on another day, please post recipes. i will share with friend and i can make cous cous or quinoa myself. i use dried apricots all the time but i have fresh now too.

        nighty night. do let the hubby bite 😉

        Like

      • Oh, I jumped, and got lots of ‘research’ done. It was very nice indeed! 🙂

        Recipes should be their own thing. Maybe I’ll have recipes somewhere in a side folder. 🙂 Food and porn…for the ladies! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        sounds like a great combination and i anticipate the post 😉 so good to know that your research had a positive outcome…*giggles*

        Like

      • My research always has a good outcome!! 🙂 When we were in college, we used to call it ‘studying chemistry.’ We’re both scientists, and completely nerdy to boot. I need to post recipes. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and not a scientist at all says:

        so amusing. we call it “biology experiments” in addition to chemistry jokes too. nothing wrong with making science work for you and tracking validity of your “methods”. congrats on achieving a positive in & outcome (holy cowabunga- does this count as a science and a sex pun in one?) 🙂 who knew you were a do-re-mi hippie nerd pervtootie 😉 keep your cells well so you can write more, whenever you get the time.

        yeah recipes would be great so i am motivated to kitchen up. meh…lately inspiration running thin beyond fruit salad 🙂 prepping fruit right now and heard the chime from email. thanks for the break.

        Like

      • I am so glad I’m not the only weirdo science nerd that uses science slang for sex talk. 🙂 Your science/sex puns take the cake though…really. 🙂

        Finding motivation to cook in heat like this is hard. Tonight we had eggs and toast, because I just couldn’t stand making something and standing over a hot stove for more than three minutes. 🙂 I cook outside during the summer, on my triple burner propane stove, and on hot windy days like this, it kills me, even if it doesn’t heat the house up. 🙂 Fruit salad sounds delightful! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        it was a massively successful pun, eh? we will make it our new saying for a while as it makes us laugh daily. we are simple here but it is free of charge, and of course calorie-free too 🙂

        i love eggs for any meal and often do breakfast for dinner. fruit really tasty right now, and i agree it is hard to cook when hot. really i do not love it even when it is not too hot since it is lots of clean up too 🙂 but i do like eating fresh real food so i do it most of the time.

        looking forward to recipe sharing one day in the future.

        Like

      • I do love summer for the tasty food! There’s nothing as good as tomatoes fresh from a garden. I’m the same way…I want to eat real food, so I make it myself (but I have to admit that I do actually enjoy cooking). The thing I miss most in the summer is bread. During the rest of the year, I bake bread once or twice a week and it is SO good! I also mill my own wheat, which gives me even more control over how fresh my food is. 🙂 Yep, go on, call me a hippy again. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        mhhh, fresh bread is the best. i do not bake so this is a rare treat and yeah hippee homegrown breads are superior IMHO 😉 for me, cooking is a pain because of the mess after all the prep and time spent cooking. it is not the worst to me at all, i just do not want to do it everyday.

        are you interested in cinnamon blueberry jam recipe from my friend? advise so i can get for you. you probably already have this one.

        Like

      • I would love a cinnamon blueberry jam recipe!!! Seriously, that sounds delicious. So here’s what I think I’ll do…I’ll go post a recipe (or two) and you can be inspired to make something new and then share a recipe in the comment box. Sound like a good plan? We can share food, nerdy brains, and hilarious puns.

        There is a huge mess to clean up, for sure. I like to cook more now than I did before we had a dishwasher (we were living in a really old and small house with a tiny kitchen…there wasn’t room for a dishwasher, and it really sucked). K…off to post!

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and chore dread says:

        i will transfer the recipe for cinn blue jam for you and be prepared. just got in from grocery store and now i will maybe need other ingredients if you post. GAH!

        i often wash while cooking and keep the flow well. but no matter what, there is always more to do and put away and that is kinda like the laundry thing to me. love clean stuff and do not mind washing and drying; it is the follow up and put away after i start to lose steam i guess. i rock with prep and mis en place but then after it is going and done i am finished before my time. i do have small kitchen and have dishwasher but do not always use it. sometimes easier to just get it done and put away instead of waiting for later.

        chores are like a newborn vampire- they never stop sucking and they drain the life out of you. where is my maid service? what happened to my life? *wails in desperation* ah, well guess i am not going to star in a soap opera anytime soon. that was not convincing even to myself. the laptop even threatened to cut me off 😉

        back to helping my neighbor and then will get recipe ready for you. then have to do more laundry and cook. where are the goats to lick my hand today?

        Like

      • See, I’m not the only one that spends most of their waking life cooking and cleaning! There is one difference between chores and baby vamps…one is awesome and the other is a necessity! 🙂 I do the same thing when I cook, cleaning between prep steps. I call my husband my sous chef, since he does most of the prep and sometimes the clean up too! 🙂 I’m a lucky girl, what can I say?

        I can’t wait to get the recipe, and I see you’ve been posting like crazy today. Sorry I didn’t read them until now, I have been weeding *gasp* in my garden! So, now, I can see the walking paths and know that my many many heirloom tomato plants are loaded with fruits, and I also have a cucumber and an arm sized golden zucchini (I had no idea it was there!) to eat! I am thrilled. My garden has sucked for years now, and this is a pleasant surprise. 🙂 Fertilizer and extra water do wonders!

        Off to read your other comments. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        welcome to abundant gourdland! wonderful news about garden. if you take care of it, it takes care of you 😉 mature viking vamps not as scary to me as a newbie. i think of the control and intent, i guess, since i do not want to be the next training meal. kill me on purpose but not accidentally. no doubt older is more fatal perhaps but less of a frenzy like those goats 😉 do not go gentle into that good night. rage, rage against the dying of the light. if a vamp bites you with all his might…blah blah blah (yeah, i know it is poetic blasphemy)

        Like

      • I happened to like your poetic blasphemy! 🙂 I also like that you compare a baby vamp to a goat. LOL

        Sorry I’ve been away from my computer…apricots are ripe, and that means picking. Today, I fought the tree, and the tree won (but I got all the fruit, so in a way, I won…even if I am scratched and bloody). And Yes, I was implying that you should sing “I fought the law, and the law won” but substitute tree for law. That’s what I did, 15 feet off the ground, bleeding from both arms! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded not bloody armed says:

        and now that song is stuck in my head ;( changing the lyric to “i fed the goat …blah blah blah…”

        take care of your arms and enjoy the fruit. my apricots are long gone but did make delish fruit salad to go with bbq today. my arms are tired but not bloody 😉

        Like

      • the trees I was picking in are old and partially dead. I have never met a scratchier tree than an apricot. Seriously. I couldn’t make it in a pineapple plantation, that’s for sure!

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        you are much more successful than i would be- i would have given up if bloodied- unless a vamp was there to assist ;). give yourself credit for persevering and not letting it go to waste. enjoy the fruits of your labor. *ohh-oww that was perfect and painful at same time*

        Like

      • Yes, perfect and painful. Wow, there is no limit to your awesome mind! Does it just come out of you, or do you have to force the puns? I’m impressed either way! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        sadly, it is just there in a nanosecond. not sure there is a cure for the rapid fire nonsense. i am not one to force much of anything, just not my style. apologies if the pain was worse than the perfection of it all 🙂

        Like

      • LOL…I always love a sharp mind…rapid fire nonsense is just as good as rapid fire perviness. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        all that is there and more 😉 yup, sharp like a vampire’s fang or a bee’s stinger…you decide and i am going back to read now…

        Like

      • geez, just read already!

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        more than halfway through. will look for pics after finish update. i am taking a phone call and cannot read that but can do quick posts back to you. i am capable of limited multitasking only 😉

        Like

      • sounds like you were doing a lot of multitasking yesterday! Now I need to find the post where you tell me what you think of the new chapter. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded...and then some more whewwww says:

        i think i overextended my multitasking capacity. i am worn out and beyond the whew… 🙂

        Like

      • Sounds like you need to take a deep breath and get some extra sleep. That’s what I always try to do when I’m overextended!

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        finishing up laundry and emails. i have a get together tomorrow morn. hoping that i will get better rest tonight and will be on track to go. i agree with you but not sure i can squeeze in extra sleep, but i am washing bedding so can snuggle in soon 😉 i love to be freshly bedded 🙂

        Like

      • Well? Did you get extra sleep on your freshly made bed? I do hope so…I used my ‘free’ time today sewing…and now my hands hurt a little, but my daughter has a lovely purple ruffle skirt and a matching purse. How adorable. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        ohhh, you are such a good momma. post a pic since that sounds adorable. purple is great color too. hope your hands feel better soon. they are important for all your hippee do re mi activities. they also assist in pervtootiness too.

        i did not get extra sleep but enjoy the snuggling in freshness ;). i am tired and hoping to make it to TB or your update…whichever comes first!

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and grammatically impaired says:

        i used also and too in same sentence i posted. ewwwwww i am more than tired and losing cognitive function apparently 😉 please pardon me lady O 🙂

        Like

      • Did you realize that we had 7!!! threads going there? I was really having a hard time keeping up with which one was which, so I decided to consolidate so I don’t have to have higher brain function to read your comments.

        First, Yes, I was dissing your grapefruit! (wow, that sounds dirty!)
        Second, If you want a purple skirt and matching purse, then you’re going to have to come to Utah and get one from me in person. 🙂
        Third, I’m glad your neighbor is doing better (damn, I sound like a jerk…that should have been first).
        Fourth, If you’re working for Master Eric, could you go peek in on him some time and tell me if his GP is really all it’s chalked up to be?
        Fifth, did you see that I posted a picture to go with the cous cous recipe? Mm, I do love summer!
        Sixth, I’m sorry that you do not share my love for summer, oh pale one. I am quite pasty myself, despite the blue-purple hue that paints my profile pic. 🙂 The only thing I don’t love about summer is that it is SO damn hot that I can’t bake in a regular-sized oven (I have a tiny propane oven outside), which means pizza/naan/cookies/bread and everything else have to be made in tiny portions, and who wants a tiny portion of bread?! Ugh.
        Seventh, I thought you were using also and too on purpose. I would add tambien and rin to that list. (Spanish and Filipino-how, you may ask do I have a readily accessible list of other words for also? Because my dearest friend and I use them constantly, so I just thought you had been spying on me. :))

        How’s that…are we all caught up? 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        oops a daisy. that is way too many times in a row 😉 i had no idea as so tired and just trying to hurry and get caught up. what a blessing that you consolidated us (does not sound quite right) 😉 much easier for my simple self.

        you betta leave my grapefruit alone, unless you touch it gently and only bite the juicy bits *snorts since you pervatootied it first* no GP sightings to report…yet. if ever in utah, i will hold you to a purple skirt with attached squidily and matching bag 😉 thanks for neighbor support. i will go look for the cous cous pic since i was oblivious. yup, i am pale and veiny- the vamps would love me long time 🙂 good one about your hue- silly me thought it was your aura *giggles* ohhh i want some naan and fresh breads. small bite would never be enough so too bad about itty bitty oven. not sure i intended to use also and too on purpose- i would have to revisit where i wrote it and check since barely recall. do know i will never want to search through all the posts you mentioned so forgetaboutit. to add to your list- aussi (french) 😉

        if you say caught up, then i concur; however, we are not settled on updates 😉

        Like

      • Of course, I forgot French!! I’m so glad you’re there to pick up my slack!

        Hey now, don’t hassle me about updates…or I’ll just have to rub it in that I’ve just finished writing the last three chapters. 🙂 Yes, that’s right, I said last. Unless of course I get lots of reviews (on FanFiction…yes, I’m crazy and obsessed with getting 1000 reviews!). It’s been hard, because many of them are here…which doesn’t count for the 1000 year old viking community on FF. I mentioned I’m crazy, AND goal oriented, right? 🙂

        The tiny oven is alright, and comes in handy when I’m desperate…but the thought of making cookies, 6 at a time is depressing.

        So, you know where I am, but I have no idea where you are. For some reason, I think you live in California. If that’s the case, Utah is only a 10-14 hour drive. 🙂 See? I’m optimistic too!

        And for your information, even fresh from the tree grapefruit is still nasty. I’ve tried. Over and over again to like it…without any success!

        Avocados are another story. I didn’t like them growing up…and then I tried them as an adult and I LOVE them! I try new things, and sometimes things just taste like poison (yes, that’s ANOTHER dig at grapefruit).

        Ok, I’m going to write for a few minutes (hours) and then I’m going to bed.

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        what do you mean last three? the story is over already? i did not know you were such a review ho 😉 can you not count both places you post? it might not count for total at FF but i am suggesting that you consider quality over quantity. you will never be disappointed or discouraged if you only recognize the best- instead of the most 😉

        i feel about honeydew the way that you feel about grapefruit- it is like perfume or soap in my mouth, and i get a reaction to it as well. i love avocado and eat them straight up. unlike you, citrus is my thing (not tangerines though). amazed that you detest sweettarty grapefruit- so refreshing and the scent is invigorating. just means more for moi 🙂 not even in fruit salad? poison? you really might have convinced me of your insanity…although death by citrus is not a bad way to go if you gotta. you keep digging on grapefruit but you might want to know that it is picked on *oh squeeze! now that is a pun worth pulp up my nose*

        tiny oven is doable but not really ideal. geez, i can eat 6 cookies, and you are cooking for your family. i suggest a firepit and then you can really cook in the wide open spaces and make gobs of carbs for everyone!! keep the young’uns away from it though except when making smores 😉 for something cooler to cook, friend sent me a green tea panna cotta recipe to try. are you interested? green tea might not be to your taste either 😉

        where in the world is whew? not canada or cali. why cali? curious how you decided this? shh, i will let you in on a little known secret- i am not west coast and maybe not even from the states. i would tell you more but then the vampires would drain me 😉

        Like

      • I see how it is…you’re going to keep your location a secret because you don’t want me to know. I knew I was scary, but not THAT scary. 🙂 I used to live in California, and I remember it being filled with funny, smart, and compassionate people. Just generalizing I guess.

        Panna cotta is made with cream too, right? Green tea is alright, not my fav, but the cream is what kills it. Why would I make such an effort to make something that not everyone in my house could eat. It sucks for sure…

        We actually do have a fire pit, but not the kind that you can use to bake on. I was dreaming of a brick/wood-burning oven last year, but opted for the propane one instead. I make vegan mallows, since I don’t eat gelatin, and they roast beautifully. 🙂

        See, I LOVE honeydew, and it does have a kind of perfume in your mouth kind of taste, but one that I don’t mind. I love the smell of grapefruit, and enjoy the benefits of grapefruit seed extract…but the fruit has never worked with my mouth. 🙂

        Yes, yes, I know…if I combined the reviews from here and there, I might be closer, BUT, you must understand my craziness. If I get into the 1K YOVC, then it helps direct readers to my profile (that use highly-reviewed stories as a guideline for what they’re willing to read), which leads to more reviews and a bigger fan base I can connect with. I AM a ho for reviews…you should know this already. There is no greater motivation to write, since I’m not doing it for money (even my book might die a slow death, but if a few people love it, it will be worth it). I feel like I’m beating this into the ground. Sorry. I have to say this though…on FF, Switched has gotten over 32,000 views so far, and of those thousands of hits, only 2.5% are reviewing. It just makes me sad…that’s all. I am the first to admit that it’s a lame goal, but it’s something, right? 🙂

        Ok, off to sew more ruffle skirts. One for me this time. 🙂 I’m excited and hope they don’t suck when I’m done.

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        the location is not secret from you, dearest O, it is the rest of the internet peeps that frighten me (and the vampires too). you are not scary, at all, to me, at least 😉 every place has funny, smart and compassionate people i suspect (having not been to every place), but my visits to cali were not as pleasant as your residence, i guess. either way, i will turn your comments into a compliment, as i believe they were intended 🙂

        you are probably right that the panna cotta is not for you as contains: powdered gelatin, whole milk, low-fat buttermilk. no cream though. i was not thinking about ingredients when got the email and just thought you would adapt it as needed. my apologies to you. yeah, your marshmallows would be the best for smores and you can flavor them as you wish. mhhh, matcha almond schmallows would be the best to me. not grapefruit! definitely not honeydew *gags* the perfume is so putrid to me and it fills up my senses and alters my taste buds, aside from the rash and reaction.

        in my ignorance, i did not realize that reviews equal referral and promotion. i get that but still…i did not fully understand that you were a hippie ho do re mi…just thought pervtootie *giggles* i do not have blog or post FF so did not know how stats and stuff works. interesting, and i appreciate the education.

        i doubt that your skirts will fail. you better not put a squidily on yours though 😥 what color will yours be? sounds adorable. off to take other neighbor out but will be back later. i see an update is ready to roll and i do not have time to read right now. GAH! talk about deprivation…biting knuckles in frustration and considering fainting couch…

        Like

      • Can I just tell you now how much I adore you for reviewing on FF, because I begged you to do it. 🙂 I loved it…every single word of it, and I want you to know that it’s very nice of you to not only be kind enough to review there, but to be compassionate about my obsessive goal-reaching. 🙂 Yeah, it’s crazy how the stats all line up and work out, and if I get into certain communities, it opens up a whole new window of readers…which is very flattering, and I have to admit that this IS all about my stupid self-esteem/ego. So thank you. Really. 🙂

        My skirt will be black, and I did not get it made today, although I will try to get it tomorrow before my day gets insane. I longed to do some good sewing today, but did laundry and posted a new chapter instead. 🙂

        Yes, my guess about your location was meant to be a compliment…everything you have told me has proven that you are a lovely person, and I’m sure that if you were my neighbor, we would laugh until we cry and stay up WAY too late together on a regular basis. I cannot summon you to Utah though, no matter how strong my desire to hang out it. You have neighbors to take care of and kind things to do for the people in your life (besides me!!). 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        aww sweet O, i heard the ding from the laundry room. nice to know that you joined me in this chore today 😉 yes, we would stay up too late cooking and cleaning and eating… grapefruit! (i just finished that too) maybe you would teach me to sew- not sure it will ever be my thing but i would love to quilt or make things i want instead of buying them. there is always bad singing and poor foreign language skills too. the insanity would never end *snorts*

        i do have my neighbors here, and they are like second parents and extended family to me so i do my best to keep up with them. today, i did good stuff on outing which meant a lot to both of us. thanks for the compliment- it makes me feel worthy of your do re mi self. i sure hope that if/when i am an octogenarian that someone gives a damn and hangs with me too (and genuinely wants to visit and help me out). perhaps i will be in utah by then and i can live in the garden like your own personal elder gnome 🙂

        did you reach your viking goal? i figured if you were pleading that something important was happening for you. of all the viking related things you pursue, this one is it…mhhh, i am still looking for GP moment myself 😉 priorities, priorities *ahem*

        Like

      • I’m definitely getting closer…I just broke 800. 🙂 Not sure that I’ll get there with two chapters, but…it was worth a shot, right? 🙂

        The thought of you hanging out in my garden as an elder gnome is still cracking me up…it’s way too early for my brain to process your humor! My damn dog woke me up at 5 (again) by throwing up. He’s eating apricots off the ground, WHOLE. Damn dog. I just hope he gets all the pits out this time. He did last year. I hate apricot season for this very reason. Sorry, back to your elder gnome. I think by the time you are living in my garden, I will live there too, being an old perv and making you snort laugh all day. That would make you feel appreciated right? Or at least you would forget all about what ails you. 🙂

        Citrus doesn’t grow in Utah, so I’m sorry to say that we couldn’t eat grapefruit if we hung out. Actually, there’s a ban on it in the state because of the yuckiness that it is. LOL. Ok, not really…just in my imagination. Singing and speaking languages poorly sounds awesome. When can you get here?

        Oh man, I’m so tired…today’s going to be a long day. 😦

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        nice that you got your fix from devoted readers 🙂 maybe you will need epilogue and bonus chapters if you do not wish to continue to the story after next two updates. i dunno, it is not my thing so i am of minimal assistance beyond the reviews…

        oh no, that is never a good way to awaken (whether people or pet vomit). can’t that kill the dog? i mean the pits and all *gags* ruining the apricots for me now. poor baby. the dog i mean… 🙂

        elder gnome was slaying me as well. believe me, if i comes to that i will require overdose of snorts to survive. you have to promise to keep the dog off of me for numerous reasons 😉 almost choked on my omelette when you lied about grapefruit ban for yuckiness. until you have tried durian fruit, i do not want to hear your whining, missy! now that is ban worthy and it is officially banned in many places for reek.

        yeah, it is going to be a long day. luckily, i got more rest than usual but it left me significantly behind on mandatory chores like bills and the like. meh. hang in there.

        Like

      • Ooo, pulling out the big guns! Durian is AWFUL! I have tried it, thank you very much, and I completely agree with the ban. Here is my durian story: I was interested based on my foolish belief that David Attenborough wouldn’t lie about something. In The Private Life of Plants (a 6 hour long botanist’s wet dream nature documentary), he described them as smelling horrid but tasting like caramel cream. So I went to an Asian market in SLC and had the nice woman that runs the store pick one out for me. Because we live so far away from tropical regions, they come frozen. I bought a whole one. It started to thaw by the time I got home…and it filled the car with a very unpleasant smell. I invited my good friend to come try it with me and my husband. I couldn’t keep it in the house, so we moved it out to the deck. It was totally thawed and cracked open. My husband pulled a section off, and we found the ‘caramel cream’ section. He smelled it and gagged. My friend and I, being brave (or stupid), proceeded to hold our breath and eat a piece. I chewed for a few seconds and then when I swallowed, I had to fight the urge to throw up. It was like a mixture between a dirty diaper and compost. CARAMEL CREAM my ass!! I trusted you, Mr. Attenborough! My friend decided to try a second piece and we both spent the rest of the night reliving the terrible taste every time we burped (which was frequent). My husband basically said, “Na na boo boo, you ate garbage!” and then proceeded to put the rest in the garbage can outside. It made the garbage can smell for 2 MONTHS! Who eats it? Oh god, it was awful.

        So NOW can I complain about grapefruit? Wow, that was a long story! I have to add that the only thing I have ever smelled that is worse is asofotida powder (used in some Indian dishes and also known as Devil’s Dung). Believe me when I say it’s worse. Really. Don’t go find it and smell it.

        Yes, poor baby dog, he’s been sick to his stomach for days. Yes, it can be VERY bad for dogs, which is why I’m glad he’s at least throwing them up. The problem is that the tree is enormous, so it’s hard to pick the cots as they ripen, so a lot of them fall off, and he helps himself. Damn dog.

        It is so funny that you mentioned an epilogue, because I JUST started writing it today! 🙂 I plan on posting it after I reach 1,000. Yeah, it’s like ransom. 🙂 I’m crazy like that.

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        my understanding is fresh durian is different than frozen. i know several peeps from asia and the islands who report it is not bad if fresh but they would never touch it once older or frozen or imported/exported. it is a long standing joke amongst others to test their courage 🙂 apparently, andrew zimmern tried twice and gagged both times and said it is the worst thing ever, and he eats it all. my vietnamese friends said you cannot take it on public transport, and it is horrible in the marketplaces too. i can only imagine your car and garbage can *gagging*

        i was given some by a chinese woman, who used to own a restaurant i frequented, during a bout of laryngitis. she said it would cure me, and i was already drinking some pod filled tea from her, so i just went with it. my friend was surprised i even drank the tea since i always get reactions to things, and she refused the tea and definitely the durian. (i did not know it was durian until her son told me afterwards.) it was given to me on a plate, and reeked of dead rotten feet and sewage to me (similar to yours i guess!). i was told it tastes like almond (one of my favs) and is creamy and healing. i ate a bite of the plateful and could barely swallow it. when she prompted me to eat more, i told her was not sure if i liked it and did not want to waste it; i did not want to offend her or throw up in front of her either. her son laughed and said he never eats it but parents love it. i struggled to keep my food down and it just sat in my belly for a long time. i am glad that you know what i mean. i do not feel so alone anymore my durian do re mi hippee pervtootie amiga 🙂

        grapefruit is divine by far compared to this, think of the scent and the taste and recollect durian next time you are picking on my treat 😉 meh, go eat your nasty honeydew, lady! *cracking up* never fear, i will never seek out devil’s dung or any indian spicy spice aside from cardamom and the like. i am not trying to be sick like your dog 🙂

        poor doggie, that is very serious and he might be toxic from eating that if still sick…aww…i hope that he is ok soon.

        yea about epilogue. tsk tsk about ransom and coerced reviews 😦 do not make me send durian and grapefruits to utah to punish you for your naughty behavior, missy! gah, gagging just thinking about that so i take it back…i would never degrade grapefruit in this manner…

        Like

      • I am seriously cracking up. I think your story of durian eating is WAY better than mine. To be served a plate and being told ‘eat it’ by a woman trying to make you feel better would be torture!! I can’t even imagine how horrible it would be to try and not throw up and hurt her feelings or make yourself sicker! LOL.

        I’m sure that people that like durian say that it’s better fresh…but that still doesn’t convince me. Otherwise, why would it be forbidden from most hotels and mass transit systems? See? It’s gross, and even the people that eat it have to admit that it smells awful. As for your comparison…I don’t have a lot of experience with dead rotten feet. Sewage, yes. But dead body parts…not so much. Now I’m worried about you and why you said that first. Wow, um, I’m nervous, and might just move so you don’t know where I live (I really worry about my feet being added to your dead rotten foot collection.). LOL I know. There’s something wrong with me.

        Last night BOTH of my dogs threw up apricot pits. Hell fire, there’s nothing as terrible as being woken up by that noise…times two! Damn dogs.

        I must admit that I do love the smell of grapefruit, and all citrus for that matter, but I don’t enjoy the taste of it. The next time I have a honeydew, I’ll rub it all over my face, just for you. 🙂

        I know it’s mean to hold my epilogue as ransom, but what am I to do? I must get my readers to review. It’s the only form of encouragement that I get, and I do love being rewarded for my lame stories. 🙂 I don’t know why I get so hung up on the number…since plenty of the stories that have thousands of reviews are not stories I would ever enjoy. Maybe I don’t want to be in a group with them…but then again, I think, if people really enjoyed reading what I write, they would all review. Maybe the majority of my readers just think it’s so-so, and not worth the time it takes to review. MAYBE I’m just over-thinking the whole thing. I know that I am really sensitive (my sister tells me so constantly), and that I might have unrealistic expectations…I really am trying to work on that. I’ve already got over 1000 words on the epilogue though, and haven’t even really gotten anywhere yet (lemons distracted me). Sorry…rambling! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded and long winded says:

        never fear, your feet and location are safe from me…how could you even imply that i have a dead foot collection? the horror 😥 i most certainly do not, nor do i want to…the label comes from our experiences with stinky people, places, and things. we just say, “smells like dead feet” as a joke (and other unmentionable labels too). i am very sensitive to aromas and find certain body, animal, and food scents putrid. we humans are pretty nasty things. footy glands are very specific odors that are unlike anything else…just like durian! p.u. *gags* thinking of citrus and coffee beans to purge the stank. not thinking of your poor dogs sicking up pits and fruit. that is the worst sound of all and as kids, siblings and i would imitate it since so incredibly distinctive (i realize that this disclosure might be worse than you accusing me of threatening your feet 🙂 )

        kidnapping your own epilogue for feedback is an interesting aspect of your personality, and more of a character flaw than my love of grapefruit, IMHO! 😉 oh yeah baby, wipe that honeydew all over you, and lie down near ant piles, if you dare. if you follow through, THAT means there is something wrong with you. there is something wrong with following statements: “must get readers to review”, “my lame stories”, “only form of encouragement i get”. maybe you are too sensitive since you are so creative, and maybe your expectations are unrealistic, but at least you have some. as long as lemons still distract you, i think that you will be okay *giggles* look to yourself before others or your do re mi skills will weaken (yoda said so). i could not bear it if that happened to you, so take care 🙂

        do not make me send the elder gnomes for your feet, missy! 🙂 i heard they do collect them, but not regurgitated apricot pits. too bad for you 🙂 oohkay, now we both are bordering on the bizarre. i am off to see the wizard and take care of me as a bit under weather. i did not eat any apricots…at all… i might need to read an epilogue to feel better soon.

        Like

      • Hey, I just had to ask about your dead foot comment…but clearly you are hiding something because you have a very LONG explanation of why you are NOT a collector of dead feet. I think you’re protesting too much! LOL

        There have not been any apricot throwing up incidents at all for the last few days, so that’s been lovely. 🙂 My very clever husband devised a rig using a 10×20′ tarp, stretched out under the giant tree to catch the fruit as it falls the 25′ drop from the canopy. It is awesome…for us. My dogs think it sucks, I’m sure.

        Ok, so…on to my good news. A publisher offered me a contract over the weekend!!!!!

        Yep, that’s right. I can’t believe it, and now I’m getting to give my input about things, and hope for the best. I will have to keep you posted. For now, it’s just so overwhelming that it’s making my head hurt constantly! I think I’m still in shock! EEEE! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        congrats on both fronts…dogs not sicking up apricots, and the publisher. hopefully your happy daze will not affect your functioning too much 😉 keep us posted about book. i know how excited you are about this happening. see?! who needs a thousand reviews…

        Like

      • I know, right? It’s so amazing, and overwhelming and freaking me out! It is starting to interfere with my sleep, so I just need to remember to take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. 🙂

        I think the reviews are going to be the thing I miss the most when I publish my book…I can’t imagine people trying to find out how to contact me after they finish it, which is a real shame, because I really do love them, 1000 or not. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        oh no, that worries me a bit about your sleep. take care of you, it is not gnome time yet 😉

        you can set up a blog for comments with book, right? just because you publish does not mean that you cannot still write for this blog or post other things for feedback. many authors do this after they publish.

        take time to do re mi, and sew and cook to keep yourself grounded. i know you cannot really run out and tell the neighbors, right? so we will all lend you an ear here. any idea about title or when available? i share in your joy *jumps up in yippee*

        Like

      • I actually already set up a blog for my pen name, not that there’s anything up there yet…but it’s a start. The publisher actually encourages it, so I’m all about it! There are restrictions about what I can post on that blog and how I link to the publisher and stuff, but I’m not sure how to do it. I’m still working through the welcome packet of info! 🙂

        I hope there won’t be any problem with me posting here…since I have a burning desire to write Sookie/Eric stories for some reason! I didn’t even think about asking about that…but since this isn’t connected to my book in any way, I don’t see why it would be.

        No, I can’t go and shout it from the rooftops, which is probably why my head feels like it’s going to burst. I have a handful of friends that are excited for me, and of course, I couldn’t live without my ff friends!

        The projected release date is November 26th, and the title is Orchids for Lila. Now I get to edit it over and over again…I’ll keep you posted, and maybe even set up a link to my author blog so you can see it. 🙂 Let me find out what the rules are! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        yes, contract compliance is a must 😉 it is a lot of red tape but once you get the rules, it is easy to figure out what you are able to do and able to avoid 🙂

        ohh like the title, sounds so very swedish *giggles* anyway, media plays an important part in promotion and interface, so i have no doubt that they will assist you in setting up this arena for the book.

        keep breathing, and take your time to do it right. thrilled that you are pursuing this for self and looking forward to a thanksgiving treat 🙂

        Like

      • How lame am I? I can’t remember which part of the paperwork I read that specifies what is allowed and what is not. Ugh, so now I either need to re-read everything, or contact my editor and find out what is okay, and what is not. 🙂

        I’m glad you like the title. I had to make it something nerdy and botanical, and who doesn’t love orchids? I do enjoy describing the labellum and sexual column. 🙂

        So, now I’m off to read more and figure out if I can shout it from the rooftops (or blog-tops? That sounds weird). Thanks again for the love and support. I’m just thrilled to be where I am. It’s good to be in a place where everything works out for once! LOL

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        you go girllllllllll, and do re mi reread your contract too 😉 you do have my support and love from the bottom of my gnome-tops (see, that sounds more weird!). it is always a blessing when things are going so well. enjoy it.

        i have orchid and it is beloved part of my collection. she was gifted valentine’s day and comes back to visit every year around that time. nothing wrong with bit of specimen details, darling 🙂 the book will definitely GROW on me *pun-iliciousness that hurts so g 🙂 😉 d*

        Like

      • Your puns never cease to amaze me! 🙂 Orchids are beautiful things, aren’t they? I’m not brave enough to have any at my house, but I did love them when I worked in a greenhouse.

        Yep, your ‘gnome-tops’ comment was definitely weird. I think we should just call a truce and admit that we are both VERY talented weirdos. 🙂

        I’ve spent the day working on getting my blog up and running with info on my book, so as soon as I get the green light, I’ll post a link. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        sounds like a plan. you are very talented, and i am very odd 😉 i am excited for the new blog and details. also the new update too. this blog has not been forgotten 😉

        why not have an orchid? they are nice and if you are not finicky about it being green leaves most of the time then you should be fine. it is worth the wait to see the pretty! very low maintenance for me at least.

        having a crap day so thanks for the smile. 🙂 🙂 🙂

        Like

      • I’m so sorry your day has been crappy! 😦 Glad I could do something to cheer you up. 🙂

        BTW, we are BOTH odd AND talented. You think wittiness is a common gift? Think again.

        Ok, don’t tell anyone, but I suck as a botanist. Honestly, it’s a miracle that my houseplants aren’t all dead…not that I don’t appreciate nature and the beauty that surrounds me, but unless I have a schedule to follow, I always forget to water things. Orchids need more care than I can give them. It’s shameful, I know… On the bright side, my garden has exploded in growth in the last few weeks (watering is set up on a timer!), and now my tomatoes are to my nose. Never had such an overgrown garden! I can’t even get down the rows between the plants! Now, if I could just start getting some ripe fruit, then I’d be a happy girl.

        I just got the ok from the publisher to post a link to my book blog, so I’ll post it. Let me know what you think!

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        if only witiness paid the bills 😉 ohh… linkage excitement is upon me! yes, i appreciate your distraction to aid in my healing, along with popcorn 😉 i am trying to turn my frown upside down 🙂

        you can grow orchid, if i can. i do love my plants, and they love me back too. orchid does not require anything special- in my house at least. it just blooms annually, and otherwise is watered weekly or less depending upon season. i am pretty simple in plant tending so guess i am just fortunate that they like to grow from my attentions *giggles*

        i think my friend keep her tomato plants picked down or shorter so they yield more fruit. if they get too much growth then not so good, if i recall correctly. you will have to look it up but i recall helping her to pull and pinch it back in previous years and it was covered in deliciousness soon afterwards.

        Like

      • My garden is definitely crazy and overgrown from too much nitrogen. Problem is: it was nitrogen deficient last year. So…we over did it. Now I need to get more phosphorous on there, which will encourage blooming and flower production. 🙂

        I know, I know…they sell orchids in the grocery store. I get it…but still. I suck at taking care of them. Really. 🙂 You’ll just have to carry that skill all by yourself. 🙂

        I’m so glad you like my other blog! You’re cute! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        hells bells, never buy orchid at grocery 😥 talk like that is sacrilege, dear do re mi botanist to be published author! poor plants…or buy them to free them and save them… i guess

        i am cute? why do you accuse me of this? my wittiness is not adorable so not sure how you decided this. it is interesting that you find me such when i am having a RL is crappy tantrum today 😉

        still on phone call so not able to read yet *pouts*

        Like

      • I hope you got off the phone before you started to cry…that is never good. I had a day like that today, and let me tell you how happy I am that I’m chilling out and not dealing with anything but lovely messages from you! 🙂

        I always think of grocery store plants as needing to be saved. Pity plants. Definitely. 🙂 I actually have a real weakness for succulents, the South African varieties are my favs. Aloes in particular. I love their little flowers, and one of my favorite varieties has flowers that look just like little flamingo heads. It’s adorable. I do not like plants with spines as a rule, but I also have a weakness for Euphorbias…another South African group of plants that are stunning. I must have had 150 varieties of succulents in the greenhouse at one time back in the day. 🙂

        Yep. Cute. Just sit back and take it. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        so not cute after staying up overnight in hospital and being sick all day. i promise, nothing adorable about it at all…unless gagging is your thang 🙂

        i love succulents, and they comprise the majority of my house babies. hoya carnosa is one of my favs; the flower buds and then blooms are amazing (do not like their scent though…too floral and sweet like honeydew!). their shape and growth patterns fascinate me. i think my oldest hoya is almost 16…a solid teenager! it sounds like yours are lovely as well. i have never grown aloe but my friend used to and it was great to have around.

        alright, it was my first time to get on computer since wed so trying to quick respond since not sure when will be back again. going to rest more since i exhausted my pathetic but CUTE 😉 self to ensure you got a somewhat timely response…emergencies and illness do count as valid excuses, right?

        enjoy the day.

        Like

      • Here you are apologizing for the delay in responding and I’ve been away for the whole weekend! 😦 I do hope you’re feeling better.

        Hoyas have some of the most beautiful flowers ever! They remind me of milkweeds. 🙂

        I am so sorry I didn’t update…the weekend got away from me. I had a lot of fun though, so hopefully I’ll get to buckle down and get some writing done. Stat! That should cheer you up, right? 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        i agree that an update would have healing potential 😉 i am very glad that you had a fun weekend (someone has got to do it, right?!).

        hoyas are amazing, and i have never seen any other bud that is like that on any type of plant species. it is the star bud, the 3D triple layer floral bloom, and the whole shebang layered blossom too…out of this world spectacular to me. i was just replanting some other succulents that are overgrown this evening (too large and hanging out of pot as growing so happily). i never quite know if they will adjust to repotting so i hope that i did not kill anything in my weakened gnome state 🙂 i had to do it since piece broke off from weight of growth and poor little baby roots could not secure it. i broke off some tendrils though and now i am worried i might have prematurely altered its life. yeah, for me the plants are living babies and i do not wish them any harm. any thoughts or suggestions… since you are the botanist?

        Like

      • So the piece that broke off is a hoya? Most succulents, if left in a cool and dry place (like a cookie sheet out of the way), will scab over and sometimes even sprout roots. There are some succulents that will root in water like most plants, but they are few and far between. I always cut off the overgrown parts and let them scab over, once they are all scabbed and protected, I would plant them in moist soil (always make sure that you mix your soil with water BEFORE planting, otherwise it won’t ever hold water like it’s supposed to). If you take cuttings and put them right in soil, they usually rot and die. 😦 So, since I’m a botanist…did that help? 🙂

        I hope you recovered a little bit more…

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        no way, i have never broken a hoya before…it is two types of sempervivum, and i am fail at figuring out best way to help them survive because so fragile once they spread like wildfire. i hate to lose them.

        i am instinctual and always wet the soil and put them in moist environs when repotting, although i think they say to not do this. shrugs, and wonders if anyone knows before i suffer more unnecessary losses… ;(

        i am ok, and getting better. thanks. friend is ok and sees doc again now out of hospital. so we will see what happens there.

        Like

      • I’m glad you’re getting better and that your friend is out of the hospital, that is good news!

        Repotting a succulent that hasn’t scabbed over is bad news…but otherwise they’re fine with it. We only had a few sempervivums in the greenhouse, and they never struggled…so I don’t know what to suggest! Have you tried letting them scab over? Just beating that dead horse into the ground! 🙂

        Like

      • I would love a cinnamon blueberry jam recipe!!! Seriously, that sounds delicious. So here’s what I think I’ll do…I’ll go post a recipe (or two) and you can be inspired to make something new and then share a recipe in the comment box. Sound like a good plan? We can share food, nerdy brains, and hilarious puns.

        There is a huge mess to clean up, for sure. I like to cook more now than I did before we had a dishwasher (we were living in a really old and small house with a tiny kitchen…there wasn’t room for a dishwasher, and it really sucked).

        I just posted….go look! 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        not sure if this will post in reply to recent response but having trouble posting for some odd reason. so far, my friend and i are healing, and the plant is alive…for now. no scabs to report though! perhaps there is something you forgot to diagnose as the problem…too much PERV in the semPERVivums 🙂 ROTFLMAO 🙂

        and never beat a dead horse, lady…that is just cruel and unusual behavior. of all the terms…gah! i am all for the giddyup terms and behaviors, but anything else…nope 🙂

        Like

      • I love that you’re cracking yourself up with the punny botanical jokes! 🙂 You definitely should have been a botanist. As I have explained before, most of the botanists I have met either have a wicked sense of humor or a dirty mind, and sometimes they have both. You, my dear, fall into the last category! 🙂

        Ha! You’re telling me not to beat a dead horse into the ground. You. Of ALL people…the crazy gnomey woman with a dead foot collection! LOL

        Like

      • whew hot blooded, dirty gnome says:

        laughing hard now, so worth leaving my cooking for the beep. you think i am dirty but not wicked?! not sure what i think about this yet 😉 how sad that you still fantasize that i have a dead foot collection; i might have to send you a cracked durian to punish you. we call em sleeping (not dead) horses round here, missy!

        at least i can smile when i return to the kitchen. so amusing my dearest O. gnomey self is hobbling back to the cooking now…

        Like

      • All I was saying is that you missed your true calling! 🙂 Glad I could help put a smile on your face! Sorry I didn’t reply earlier. I got my manuscript back from my editor, and had to do the first round of editing, sooner rather than later. I took a break today though, but now I’m back at it.

        Maybe we should just call a truce on all stinky things? Dead feet, durian, honeydew, grapefruit? 🙂 What say you?

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        good to know you are working on the book. hope that it is going well and you are happy with your progress too.

        you have previously admitted that grapefruit does NOT stink so i cannot agree to include it on the stinky list 🙂 however, i can agree to a truce on the other things 😉

        hope you, your family and the doggies are well. i am finally getting back on track.

        Like

      • I’m glad you’re back on track! It’s been a week since I’ve checked messages. 😦 I’m so sorry. If you read the AN at the beginning of Chapter 19 (that I just posted), you will see that I have spent the last week editing my book. I sent it back to my editor this morning, just before 1 am. I am SO tired today, probably because I had dreams about editing the word ‘said’ 700 times while I was trying to sleep! Note to self…do not edit for 4 hours before bed. 😦

        A truce sounds great. and I’m glad you’re feeling better, really. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        no need to worry about response time. quickies are only good once in awhile 😉 it is good to know that you are working on the book, but not so great to see it is affecting your dreams and sleepy time 🙂 please take care of yourself too. get some rest and enjoy your weekend. eat some bbq tofu to soothe your soul 😉

        Like

      • You give good advice, I must say… I’ve got giant mushrooms to grill…so that’s looking more like dinner 🙂 I really am sorry to be distracted by the book. I’m also trying to work on another one, and it’s been slow going. Hmm. Not sure what do about that. I’ll figure it out, one of these days. 🙂

        Like

      • whew hot blooded says:

        hope the shroom was tasty, if you cooked it. i love mushrooms and eat them almost as much as grapefruit 🙂

        take your time and enjoy this opportunity with new book, and continue to finish your blog stories when you get a chance too. the new story will float on in when you focus on it less. as gran would say, “a watched pot never boils”, and i think this applies to overthinking when stressed and not sleeping enough too 😉 it is not easy to write if too much going on in your head.

        take care until next time.

        Like

      • You are always full of such lovely advice, and of course you’re right. I took a little break from writing, but mainly because I got a scathing review that made me nauseous. What can I do? Clearly I can’t please everyone. I’m over it (for the most part), and just waiting for news from my editor about the epilogue. Weekends are always so busy though, so I’m not expecting to see it today. Sorry about the wait. Hope you’ve been taking time for yourself too. 🙂

        Like

  21. I found you! I must say that I’m really enjoying your blog (which figures given that i absolutely adore your stories)

    Like

    • Aww shucks, you’re just so nice! I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog. I’m still learning, so if something sucks, just let me know! I’m SO glad you found me…it’s just not the same over here without you! 🙂 Thanks for the love for my stories!

      Like

  22. Janet says:

    So glad I found your WordPress acct.

    Like

  23. Annie says:

    I hadn’t realized just how MANY stories I have read of yours till a few days ago. Getaway is probably among my top rereadable fanfics list. I read it 3 times I think. I am very tempted for a 4th but I know it so well I fear it wouldnt be so good if actually managed to memorize more than the storyline and various scenes from each chapter. 😛 I read confetti and the pam factor is in my top threesome smut ive read. LOL I rank MySecretO with EricIzMine cause you little lady! Rock my socks off every time I read your work!

    Like

    • Annie…I can’t tell you how giddy I am when you share the love with me like that. 🙂 I cannot believe you’ve read Getaway three times. It’s over 150,000 words!! Confetti is still one of my favorites, so near and dear to my heart. 😉 Thank you for ranking me so high with other talented writers…makes me feel like a real author or something! I really do appreciate your random string of compliments, so whatever the reason that prompted you to gush and profess your love, I am grateful! 🙂

      Like

  24. tessa90 says:

    Hi how do I subscribe to switched ? X

    Like

    • hmmm, I’m not sure if you can subscribe to just Switched, but you can click that little + symbol that says follow and you’ll get all my updates (which are all Switched right now), so that will probably work! 🙂

      Like

  25. Sarah L. says:

    I love that you have set up shop on WordPress. I love all of your stories.

    Like

  26. Hollie says:

    Hi there, I log on to your new stuff on a regular basis.

    Your story-telling style is witty, keep doing what you’re doing!

    Like

    • MySecretOFanFiction says:

      Thank you Hollie! I’m so glad you found my blog and enjoy my writing. Your compliments are very kind and I will work very hard to earn your praise! 🙂

      Like

  27. This post will help the internet viewers for
    creating new web site or even a blog from start to end.

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  28. Hi September –

    I’ve been reading Southern Vampire Mysteries fan fiction for about six months now and was absolutely enamored when I discovered your website. I’ve read everything you’ve written and am now following your latest story, The Tilted Kilt.

    I write freelance for two print publications in the Boston, MA area and when I found out that you had published Orchids for Lila I convinced my editor to let me review it for Pulse Magazine. She’s pretty confident that we’ll run the review in our February issue.

    I just wanted to let you know and as a fan of your work I’m excited to bring you some extra attention. I really think that you might be the next E. L. James or Sylvia Day. If you’d like a copy of the magazine please send your mailing address and I’ll make sure you get a copy. There is also a web version of the mag which I will send you a link to when the article is published.

    I don’t want to post my email address on here and I can’t figure out how to send a private message. Any ideas on how we can talk?

    Thanks for being so awesome and sharing it with the rest of us!

    Shelly

    Like

    • I’m so glad you found me on FB! I am so grateful for your love, and REALLY hope you enjoy Orchids for Lila. The expectations are SO high and I really hope I don’t disappoint! Obviously, we’ve already chatted quite a bit on FB, so I will just say again, I am so excited to have your help, and I really hope I am worthy of your praise and kindness. 🙂

      Like

  29. isismama says:

    I’m so glad you’re here. I love lemons, I just don’t think I’m very good at writing them. I can’t wait to read all of yours. : )

    Like

    • Well thanks! I’m glad you found me here. It’s a pain in the ass really, to have two sites to update and keep tabs on, but I can’t leave FFn just yet, and I also don’t feel good about breaking their rules, so here we have a solution…sort of. 🙂 I hope you like them, please be sure to let me know when you get around to reading them all! 🙂

      Like

  30. Daisy says:

    I will immediately snatch your rss feed as I can’t in finding your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve
    any? Please let me recognize so that I may subscribe.
    Thanks.

    Like

  31. I am truly happy to read this weblog posts which consists of
    lots of valuable facts, thanks for providing such information.

    Like

  32. tessa90 says:

    Hi just wondering if you have a mobile version? X

    Like

    • I have the mobile version enabled, so I’m not sure what else I can do. The side bars are the only thing that are missing, but because my home page has links to all the stories, you’re not missing much. 🙂 WordPress.com sites (like this one) won’t let me install plugins, which is one of the downsides to .com vs. .org. Are you running into a specific problem? Is it overloading your phone with data, or loading slowly? Let me know and I’ll see if I can find something else.

      Like

  33. sasakornb says:

    Love your stories!

    Like

  34. Eric sent me and I willingly obeyed, I love your work!!!

    Like

  35. mp5KOVA says:

    Eric sent me to tell you that he will forever be grateful to you for the full access to Sookie’s body in “Switch”. I however want to thank you for all your other stories as well 🙂

    Like

  36. kinnik7104 says:

    Eric sent me to tell you how much He and I love your writing style and your stories!! You have a brilliant mind and I’m truly grateful for your time and effort! Write on!

    Like

  37. Opalsfire says:

    Hey there long time no see. I’m glad I found your page the stuff on ff.net is just not the same. I love your stories. I really should check out your books. Laters for now!

    Like

    • Hi! It has been SO long!! I’m so glad you found my page, too! I’ve been writing a lot, so you’ll find a lot of new stories here. 🙂 Thanks for the love for my writing, I always appreciate it! I’ve got two books and a short story published (you can find them on Amazon under September Roberts), AND I just signed a contract for my third book!! Never a dull moment around here! 🙂 Thanks so much for saying hi!

      Like

  38. ihootie says:

    What will be the story after Relapse?

    Like

  39. gwynwyvar says:

    Eric sent me to tell you that he loves your brain. And not in a yucky Hannibal Kind of way😉

    Even if you never write another word, what you have already written is blood. I mean gold! Maybe I should stop listening to Eric rant 😋

    I may not review much, cos RL kicks my butt! But you are brilliant!

    Like

    • You seriously made my day! I love that you took the time to write and tell me how much you love my brain (and Eric, too). I know how sucky RL can be, believe me. I don’t think I could stand to never write another word. I love Eric WAY too much. You’ll hear more from me, just as soon as I have free time again! Thanks again for the love. This is the reason I write!

      Liked by 1 person

  40. Teresa says:

    Hello! I do not usually leave comments; partly because I am lazy, partly because I am greedy (just want to keep reading, lol) and partly because I find I don’t have the words to express what I’m feeling. “That’s so good” is rather lame when what I’m feeling after I finish a story is so much more than “good”, if that makes sense.
    I have read all of your fan fiction, some of it a few times (Getaway and La Vie en Rose, in particular!!) and just love your style and unique way with certain characters. I recently purchased Orchids for Lila, and before I plugged myself back into my Kindle, lol, wanted to give you a big high five, well done, and thank you your work.
    Cheers to you from North Carolina
    p.s. any time you want to do a crossover with SVM and the Prime Minister of Canada, let me know! Justin Trudeau is fuck-hot smart…kinda like a certain Viking Vampire we all love 😉

    Like

    • Teresa!
      First, let me begin by saying thank you for not only spending the time to write a big lovely message for me, but also for buying my first book! Eeeek! I hope you love it.

      Second, reviews that say “that’s so good” are just fine by me. I’d rather hear details about what you loved most, but knowing I have a reader out there who appreciates my work is worth its weight in gold.

      Third, I couldn’t agree with you more about the PM of Canada. Good lord that man has some skills! 🙂

      I’m so glad you took the time to write and let me know you love what I put out there. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Comments like these are the reason I keep writing. I really hope you enjoy Orchids for Lila and I hope you’ll leave me a lovely review on Amazon (or wherever you bought it) when you’re done. Thanks again!! ❤

      Like

      • Teresa says:

        Just wanted to let you know I devoured Orchids for Lila! Many sections are parallel with sections of Getaway but then many sections stand off on their own. Loved your individual take on vampire ethos; I feel like I’ve been steeped in True Blood/SVM and it was very fun to have something so different! LOVED the “riding the red firetruck” section too.
        Thanks again –
        Teresa

        Like

      • Teresa, Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely comment about Orchids for Lila! You’re right, I took Getaway and turned it into my own story. I hope you left a review on Amazon or wherever you bought it. Those definitely help. 🙂

        I wrote a companion novel to Orchids for Lila and hope to have it published this year. Keep your eyes out!

        Thank you again. I’m flattered. ❤

        Like

  41. Shay says:

    Love your stories and your writing style can’t wait to read more!

    Like

  42. Vyzia says:

    All I have to say is I’m so regretful that I didn’t google for some SVM/TB fanfics years ago. Team Eric forever.

    Like

  43. duckbutt60 says:

    My dearest —even though you are a successful published author, will you be sharing anymore S/E fanfic? You know, to keep your muse “well oiled” while you are noodling on original fiction? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pat! It has been too long. I’m not sure I would consider myself a successful published author, but appreciate that you said it. 😉 I’ve actually been thinking of Eric and Sookie a lot lately and missing all of you. Between work, family, and volunteering I have had zero time for writing of any kind. It’s really been bumming me out. I wouldn’t dream of leaving this realm and all of you with it. All I need is a little time and inspiration. 🙂 Hugs!!

      Liked by 3 people

  44. L_Viviane says:

    …. so um hey, just checking in. Hope all is well.

    Like

  45. susanj39 says:

    Re-reading many of your stories. You’re such a talented writer! I know you wrote these a long time ago, but I want you to know that many of us still read them and enjoy them. Thank you!

    Like

    • Thank you so much! I will always have a soft place in my heart for Sookie and Eric, no matter how full my life is or how little time I have for writing. I’m glad people are still finding my stories here. That makes me so happy!

      Like

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