In my quest for a title for my fourth book (Damn you, elusive book title!!!), I searched for random book title generators, thinking, “How bad could they be?”
Bad.
Soooooo bad.
I laughed so hard, I cried. Then I called my friend, read them to him, and cried some more. Don’t believe me? The one I just got (and my new personal favorite) is:
The Horny Vampire’s Illegal Secretions.
Do you believe me now? What’s that? You’re STILL skeptical? Go here: http://sweary.com/romance-novel-title-generator/
You won’t regret it.
MySecretOFanFiction 
“Bored wife, busty loins”
Hahahaha
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LOL I couldn’t stop myself from clicking it a hundred times. Time well spent…
Do something about those loins, will ya?
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Lol not just any loins, busty loins hahaha
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I didn’t want to say anything…
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The Crocodile Hunter’s Huge Smelly Goo-Filled Cavity Search and the Large Membered Rancher’s Illegal Foot Fetish
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My face hurts from laughing! Goo-filled cavity should NEVER appear on the cover of a book!!!
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LMAO!! Srsly!!! The Love Starved Officer and the Tentacle Monster Beautician
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Wow, that would be a killer beautician! Except for the monster part… just imagine how fast it could braid with all those tentacles!!
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Mary-Beth’s Stinky Weiner’d Demon and the Senator’s Last Bottom
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WTF?
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So…NOT the title for your next book?? I’m crushed! Also, need more coffee…ok, mostly just need more coffee.
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Just don’t click WHILE drinking coffee. Bad combo.
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LMAO – SRSLY!! That’s what the professor said after his inconvenient fellatio. The spinster aunt agreed after her hairy double teaming, too.
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oh god. If I could use one word to describe fellatio, it’s inconvenient. Hairy double teaming? What does that even mean?
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The title generator makes me fear for someone’s sanity. Ok, maybe not so much “fear” as “want to sit back and watch it devolve into flames and burnt marshmallows”.
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I’ll bring chocolate and graham crackers. 😉
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*rubs hand gleefully – but only the one hand ’cause the other one is holding the vanilla-soaked bamboo skewers*
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damn, you know how to roast mallows!! 🙂
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*happy nod* They’re really nummy! 😀
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do you make your own? I do…
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Marshmallows? Hell no, I’m far too lazy to do that, but I do admire anyone who does, though. HUGE difference!
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They are delicious. I make them out of sheer necessity. Veg-friendly mallows are SO expensive it hurts. Homemade is much better, especially when you consume them as regularly as we do. 🙂
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I wish I had your patience, but if that homemade yumminess were handy at all times, I wouldn’t be able to fit through my doors! 😀
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I’m not sure if patience is the right word… And as far as keeping them handy, well, let’s just say I keep them handy for the smaller, more active humans in my life. 🙂
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You know that expression “Youth is wasted on the young”? Well, no, it’s not, but a lot of that energy surely is…
Too bad we can’t bottle it!
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If you ever figure out how to bottle energy, you’ll be famous. Then I can say, “I knew her when she TALKED about bottling energy while reading smut!”
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Lol! I’ll be sure to send you a sample of that bottle energy so you can crank out titles!! 😀
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It must’ve worked (with a slight delay), since I think I came up with one! 😀
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AWESOME!!!!! Very glad to hear it!!
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🙂 Me too! What a relief!
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It occurs to me that these folks don’t have jobs…
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What do you mean? They’re DOING their job… double-teaming and incest included!
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IK,R? It sounds exhaustipating!!! Do they make protein drinks for that?
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you know what kind of ‘protein drink’ I just thought of, don’t you?
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Ohhhh yeah – just wanted to make you think it ’cause when you think you then write it so purdy.
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LOL. Thanks, I think? 🙂
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*evil smirk* YVW! 😀
Erm…you ARE talking about Ensure, right?
*side-ways glance*
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nope. I really wasn’t and you damn well know it! 🙂
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*initiating Evil Laugh #204 with Partial Snicker #7*
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don’t play coy with me!
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Ok, ok, how about Roy? Foy? MALFOY?? I can play with Malfoy????? See, I knew you liked me!! 😀
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Yeah, you go ahead and play with Malfoy. Lemme know how that works out. 🙂
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Gladly… (You know in *my* mind he’s half a foot taller AND broader, and that forehead bulge is somewhat less prominent…oh, and he’s actually good at heart…yeah, that’s it…yeah…)
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Don’t let me interfere with your image of the perfect Malfoy. 🙂
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MWAHAHAHA….um…erm…TEE HEE HEE! 😀
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I don’t know which sound effect is creepier. Let me sleep on it. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.
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They’re interchangeable…
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Nooooo! You just made it worse!!
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I have some brain bleach for that around here somewhere…
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I’m sure you’ve used it all by now. 🙂
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Heh, hidden supply… I’ll sharsies!
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Aww…you’re the nicest! Sharing is caring, and you care.
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It gave me the idea of doing a contest and using the generator for the titles. It could be quite funny. I got the wealthy bishop’s passionate sin.
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Your bishop is SO passionate…and wealthy! LOL I thought the same thing: writing an entire story around one of these ridiculous titles! 🙂
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It could be fun!
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I know! I think we’d all have to write completely silly stuff though!
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Yes we would. 🙂
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50 Ways to Fall on a Viking’s Sword
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Wait…are you giving me book title suggestions? That’s WAY too good to come from the book title generator!!
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some of these are so bad they are completely awesome
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So totes hard awesome. 🙂
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How about:
a desperate lover’s hefty fiancee’s weiner
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Dear god, it’s the worst one yet! LOL
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the pervy priest’s last kovlovsky
I Love it!
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What the hell does that even mean? LOL I love them all so much!!!
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I checked it out to see what you were talking about and got nosy. I clicked a button and low and behold ‘The lonely batchelor’s frivolous balls’ is what popped up. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! And to top it off they spelled bachelor wrong!
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LOL That’s the icing on the cake!!!! I’ve clicked many, many times. 🙂
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Oh my god this is sooooo addictive!! My first click got me “desperate girl, furious bosoms”. Lol lol lol
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“circus clown, incestuous partner”
“desperate author lascivious butt”
????
“The vampire sister’s inconvenient fellatio”
“protected by forceful overactive imagination”
Now that last one kinda hits close to home 😜
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I can’t tell you how many times fellatio has inconvenienced me. Really. Too many to list here. The first one, with the clowns and incest made my skin crawl. Good job Book Title Generator. You’re going to give me nightmares!
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I know, right? I couldn’t stop!!! I was seriously crying and wheezing. Only damnyouautocorrect does that to me. Now I have TWO sources of nonstop entertainment!
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